[November 12, 2024] by Kathy Scott, PhD, and Bridget Sarikas
Healthy Me Series - #3
This is our Healthy Me Series designed to encourage each of us to rethink what success looks like personally and professionally in today’s world. This blog is focused on nurturing our brain and wellbeing through connection.
Our Amazing Brain and the Power of Social Connection
Our brain, weighing just three pounds, is an amazing universe that processes more than 6,000 thoughts a day according to a 2020 study using brain imaging technology. This processing occurs through brain synapses at the speed of 300 miles per hour, forming our memories, thoughts and feelings. Wow!
Another interesting brain fact is that 95 percent of the thoughts we have each day are repetitive from the day before and 80 percent of these repeats are negative thoughts, influencing our assumptions and beliefs, amping up our anxiety, and impacting our actions and relationships. Again – Wow! How disconcerting it is to think that on average we have about 4,344 repetitive negative thoughts per day. This human bias towards negativity shows up as expecting the worst, taking things personally and misinterpreting reality.
We live in a society where we spend more time alone with our thoughts. Loneliness is running rampant, often fueled by our negative thoughts in a society of virtual connection and growing polarization. Becoming a healthier person requires the nourishment of more positive thoughts and meaningful connection with others.
Here’s the good news. It is possible to change the way we think through two different approaches. The first is by paying more attention to our thinking – examining our thoughts and actions through practices, such as mindfulness, meditation, and reflection. And the second approach to changing the way we think is through being more intentional with our actions -- essentially acting our way into healthier thinking. When we demonstrate behaviors that promote connection with others, we nourish our brain and our overall wellbeing.
It takes some attention and accompanying discomfort to learn new ways that help us better connect with others. These new ways focus on relational thinking and skills that help us demonstrate empathy, mutuality and authenticity, moving us toward more meaningful experiences with others.
We all have two competing needs that are critical to our wellbeing, whether we lean introvert or extrovert, and these needs are for autonomy as well as connection. These are two sides of the same coin, and we vacillate between them on any given day. Autonomy is about independence and freedom -- having an identity that distinguishes me as me. It’s about being our own person. Connection, on the other hand, is about personal familiarity, closeness and intimacy.
Social connection is a basic biological need, and we cannot be healthy without it. Research clearly tells us that social isolation and loneliness increase a person’s odds of an early death by 25 – 30 percent. Isolation is as impactful as having a chronic disease such as diabetes. Without connection we do not receive the ongoing nourishment needed for our daily living – nourishment that bolsters our emotional immune system and our overall health.
So, while we have an innate need to be independent, that does not change the fact that we also need to connect with others in meaningful ways – breaking the cycle of repetitive negative thoughts that bring us down and keep us from living more purposefully!
In our next blog we will focus on skills and tips that will help boost our social connections and turn around some of the negativity we find ourselves in. Remember we have about 4,344 repetitive negative thoughts per day, so there’s plenty of room for improvement. In the meantime, connect with someone new. Start small and build on your successes!!
Titter Time:
“OMG, I have finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right, and on the right side there is nothing left.”
~ Author unknown
Comments